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    Hospitals

  1. Hospital rooms seemt to have vastly more ceiling than any rooms people live in.
       -- Bertha Damon

  2. Hospitals, like airports and supermarkets, only pretend to be open nights and weekends.
       -- Molly Haskell

  3. One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is the assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
       -- Jean Kerr

  4. The ultimate indignity is to be given a bedpan by a stranger who calls you by your first name.
       -- Maggie Kuhn

  5. Looking out of a hospital window is different from looking out of any other. Somehow you do not see outside.
       -- Carol Matthau

  6. Hospitals are only an intermediate stage of civilization.
       -- Florence Nightingale

  7. In hospitals there is no time off for good behavior.
       -- Josephine Tey

  8. It's like a convent, the hospital. You leave the world behind and take vows of poverty, chastity, obedience.
       -- Carolyn Wheat

  9. A trip to the hospital is always a descent into the macabre. I have never trusted a place with shiny floors.
       -- Terry Tempest Williams


    Housewife

  10. I call myself a 'domestic goddess.'
       -- Rosanne Barr

  11. To be a housewife is to be a member of a very peculiar occupation, one with characteristics like no other. The nature of the duties to be performed, the method of payment, the form of supervision, the tenure system, the "market" in which the "workers" find "jobs," and the physical hazzards are all very different from the way things are in other occupations.
       -- Barbara Bergmann

  12. I would be content being a housewife if I could find the kind of man who wouldn't treat me like one.
       -- Terry McMillan

  13. No laborer in the world is expected to work for room, board, and love--except the housewife.
       -- Letty Cottin Pogrebin

  14. There is, I suppose, no occupation in the world which has an influence on the efficiency and happiness of the members of nearly all other occupations so continuous and so permeating as that of the working housewife and mother.
       -- Eleanor F. Rathbone


    Housework

  15. Housekeeping ain't no joke.
       -- Louis May Alcott

  16. I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
       -- Roseanne Barr

  17. Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day.
       -- Simone de Beauvoir

  18. I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.
       -- Shirley Conran

  19. Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.
       -- Marcelene Cox

  20. I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
       -- Phyllis Diller

  21. If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done this? we have no enemies."
       -- Phyllis Diller

  22. I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know
       -- Phyllis Diller

  23. The average man has a carefully cultivated ignorance about household matters--from what to do with the crumbs to the grocer's telephone number--a sort of cheerful inefficiency which protects him.
       -- Crystal Eastman

  24. They shared the chores of living as some couples do--she did most of the work and he appreciated it.
       -- Paula Gosling

  25. The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours.
       -- Lady Hasluck

  26. A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor.
       -- Lucille Kallen

  27. At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.
       -- Rose Macaulay

  28. People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes.
       -- Margaret Mahy

  29. The important thing about women today is, as they get older, they still keep house. It's one reason why they don't die, but men die when they retire. Women just polish the teacups.
       -- Margaret Mead

  30. Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?
       -- Katherine Whitehorn


    Humanity

  31. We are all just monkeys in business suits running around pretending to be executives.
       -- Anon.

  32. Of mankind in general, the parts are greater than the whole.
       -- Aristotle

  33. Man is at the bottom an animal, midway, a citizen, and at the top, divine. But the climate of this world is such that few ripen at the top.
       -- Henry Ward Beecher

  34. He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enought of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind.
       -- Willa Cather

  35. Humans can learn to like anything, that's why we are such a successful species. You can drop humans anywhere and they'll thrive--only the rat does as well.
       -- Jeanette Desor

  36. It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.
       -- Finley peter Dunne

  37. We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.
       -- Albert Einstein

  38. Man is physically as well as metaphysically a thing of shreds and patches, borrowed unequally from good and bad ancestors, and a misfit from the start.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  39. Man's most valuable trait
    Is a judicious sense of what not to believe.
       -- Euripides

  40. The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all o its meaninglessness.
       -- Martin Esslin

  41. We have believed--and we do believe now--that freedom is indivisible, that peace is indivisible, that economic prosperity is indivisible.
       -- Indira Gandhi

  42. Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck by the difference between what things are and what they might have been.
       -- William Hazlitt

  43. Every man is more than just himself; he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world's phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again.
       -- Herman Hesse

  44. I am mortal. I am born to love and to suffer.
       -- Friedrich Holderlin

  45. Could anything be absurder than a man? The animal who knows everything about himself--except why he was born and the meaning of his unique existence.
       -- Storm Jameson

  46. A humanist is anyone who rejects the attempt to describe or account for man wholly on the basis of physics, chemistry or animal behaviour.
       -- Joseph R. Krutch

  47. Limited in his nature, infinite in his desires. Man is a fallen god who remembers heaven.
       -- Alphonse de Lamartine

  48. There is nothing on earth divine except humanity.
       -- Walter S. Landor

  49. There are 193 living species of monkeys and apes. 192 of them are covered with hair. The exception is a naked ape, self-named Homo Sapiens.
       -- Desmond Morris

  50. The natural man has only two primal passions: to get and beget.
       -- William Osler

  51. Humanity is the sin of God.
       -- Theodore Parker

  52. man is only a reed, the weakest thing in nature, but he is a thinking reed.
       -- Blaise Pascal

  53. Man makes holy what he beleives, as he makes beautiful what he loves.
       -- Ernest Renan

  54. Man is as full of potentiality as he is of impotence.
       -- George Santayana

  55. God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man.
       -- William Shakespeare - The Merchant of Venice

  56. Man, an animal that makes bargains.
       -- Adam Smith

  57. The true grandeur of humanity is in moral elevation, sustained, enlightened and decorated by the intellect of man.
       -- Charles Sumner

  58. I am a man; nothing human is alien to me.
       -- Terence

  59. There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
       -- Mark Twain

  60. The so-called human race.
       -- Mark Twain

  61. If the whole human race lay in one grave, the epitaph on the headstone might well be: "It seemed a good idea at the time."
       -- Rebecca West

  62. Humanity to me is not a mob. A mob is a degeneration of humanity. A mob is humanity going the wrong way.
       -- Frank Lloyd Wright


    Human Nature

  63. A sudden, bold, and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open.
       -- Francis Bacon

  64. We have provided for the survival of man against all enemies except his fellow man.
       -- Lyman Lloyd Bryson

  65. A human being isn't an orchid, he must draw something from the soil he grows in.
       -- Sara Jenett Duncan

  66. It will be very generally found that those who will sneer habitually at human nature, and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant samples.
       -- Charles Dickens

  67. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
       -- Albert Einstein

  68. It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.
       -- Anatole France

  69. Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.
       -- Erich Fromm

  70. Some of us are like wheelbarrows--only useful when pushed, and very easily upset.
       -- Jack Herbert

  71. It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one's neighbor.
       -- Eric Hoffer

  72. The middle class prefers comfort to pleasure, convenience to liberty, and a pleasant temperature to the deathly consuming inner fire.
       -- Herman Hesse

  73. It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
       -- John Andrew Holmes

  74. Most human beings have an absolute and infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
       -- Aldous Huxley

  75. An unlearned carpenter of my acquaintance once said in my hearing: 'There is very little difference between one man and another, but what there is is very important.'
       -- William James

  76. See everything: overlook a great deal: correct a little.
       -- Pope John XXII

  77. A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world: Everyone you meet is your mirror.
       -- Ken Keyes, Jr.

  78. Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other.
       -- Charles Lamb

  79. Every so often, we pass laws repealing human nature.
       -- Howard Lindsay

  80. In this world, a man must either be anvil or hammer.
       -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  81. Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive and potentially orderly and constructive.
       -- Margaret Mead

  82. It is in vain to hope to please all alike. Let a man stand with his face in what direction he will, he must necessarily turn his back on one half of the world.
       -- George Dennison Prentice

  83. The opinions which we hold of one another, our relations with friends and kinfolk are in no sense permanent, save in appearance, but are as eternally fluid as the sea itself.
       -- Marcel Proust

  84. My nature is subdued to what it works in, like the dyer's hand.
       -- William Shakespeare

  85. A lady asked me why, on most occasions, I wore black. "Are you in mourning?" "Yes." "For whom are you in mourning?" "For the world."
       -- Dame Edith Sitwell

  86. I am a part of all that I have met.
       -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

  87. There is a great deal of human nature in people.
       -- Mark Twain

  88. We should expect the best and the worst from mankind, as from the weather.
       -- Vauvenargues

  89. I reckon there's as much human nature in some folks as there is in others, if not more.
       -- Edward Noyes Westcott


    Humility

  90. It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.
       -- Saint Augustine

  91. The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exhalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
       -- Josh Billings

  92. Without humility there can be no humanity.
       -- John Buchan

  93. Personally, I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world chess championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility.
       -- Richard Dawkins

  94. Extremes meet and there is no better example than the haughtiness of humility.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  95. Humility is not my forte, and whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters.
       -- Margaret Halsey

  96. The first of all other virtues--for other people.
       -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

  97. He that makes himself a sheep shall be eaten by a wolf.
       -- Italian Proverb

  98. The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.
       -- Mignon McLaughlin

  99. Humility is like underwear, essential, but indecent if it shows.
       -- Helen Nielsen

  100. Humility is attentive patience.
       -- Simone Weil

  101. I feel coming on a strange disease--humility.
       -- Frank Lloyd Wright

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    Humor

  102. A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something which would make you mad if it happened to you.
       -- Anon.

  103. Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.
       -- Anon.

  104. Humour is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humour, for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
       -- Aristotle

  105. He'd never laugh at my jokes. I was a woman, meaning my relationship with humor should have been as an object, not a perpetrator.
       -- Rosanne Arnold

  106. You row up the day you have your first real laugh, at yourself.
       -- Ethel Barrymore

  107. Humor tells you where the trouble is.
       -- Louise Bernikow

  108. There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.
       -- Josh Billings

  109. We must laugh at a man to avoid crying for him.
       -- Napoleon Bonaparte

  110. Humor is just another defence against the universe.
       -- Mel Brooks

  111. Humor comes from self-confidence. There's an aggressive element to wit.
       -- Rita Mae Brown

  112. If you want to make people week, you must weep yourself. If you want to make people laugh, your face must remain serious.
       -- Casanova

  113. Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
       -- Irvin S. Cobb

  114. Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
       -- Frank Moore Colby

  115. The love of truth lies at the root of much humour.
       -- Robertson Davies

  116. Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
       -- Edward De Bono

  117. The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
       -- Peter De Vries

  118. A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
       -- George Eliot

  119. If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
       -- Mahatma Gandhi

  120. A humorist is a man who feels bad but feels good about it.
       -- Don Herold

  121. Humor is a rubber sword--it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
       -- Mary Hirsch

  122. A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.
       -- Raymond Hitchcock

  123. A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.
       -- Buster Keaton

  124. He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh.
       -- The Koran

  125. The teller of a mirthful tale has lattitude allowed him. We are content with less than absolute truth.
       -- Charles Lamb

  126. Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.
       -- Charles Lamb

  127. Don't try for wit. Settle for humor. You'll last longer.
       -- Elsa Maxwell

  128. I had thought, on starting this composition, that I should define what humor means to me. However, every time I tried to, I had to go and lie down with a cold wet cloth on my head.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  129. There's a hell of a difference between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  130. Even the gods love jokes.
       -- Plato

  131. There are things of deadly earnest that can only be safely mentioned under cover of a joke.
       -- J.J. Procter

  132. Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are knocked off their earthly pedestals.
       -- Agnes Repplier

  133. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
       -- Will Rogers

  134. If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
       -- Will Rogers

  135. There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.
       -- Adele Rogers St. John

  136. Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice.
       -- David Seabury

  137. Jesters do oft prove prophets.
       -- Wiliam Shakespeare - King Lear

  138. It is a difficult thing to like anybody else's ideas of being funny.
       -- Gertrude Stein

  139. Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.
       -- William Makepeace Thackeray

  140. Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
       -- James Thurber

  141. There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
       -- Mark Twain

  142. That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
       -- Gloria Vanderbilt

  143. Wit is the only wall
    Between us and the dark.
       -- Mark Van Doren

  144. We are not amused!
       -- Queen Victoria

  145. It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
       -- Mae West

  146. Whenever you find humor, you find pathos close by his side.
       -- Edwin Percy Whipple

  147. Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process.
       -- E.B. White

  148. The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.
       -- Alfred North Whitehead

  149. Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
       -- Virginia Woolfe


    Hunger

  150. If the people have no bread, let them eat cake.
       -- Marie Antoinette

  151. Hungry people cannot be good at learning or producing anything, except perhaps violence.
       -- Pearl Bailey

  152. Hunger makes a thief of any man.
       -- Pearl S. Buck

  153. There will never cease to be ferment in the world unless people are sure of their food.
       -- Pearl S. Buck

  154. A hungry man can't see right or wrong. He just sees food.
       -- Pearl S. Buck

  155. An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
       -- Albert Einstein

  156. No man can be wise on an empty stomach.
       -- George Eliot

  157. A hungry man is an angry one.
       -- Buchi Emecheta

  158. Hunger steals the memory.
       -- Louise Erdrich

  159. We can plant wheat every year, but the people who are starving die only once.
       -- Fiorello H. La Guardia

  160. Hunger also changes the world--when eating can't be a habit, than neither can seeing.
       -- Maxine Hong Kingston

  161. A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings.
       -- Latin Proverb

  162. No clock is more regular than the belly.
       -- Rabelais

  163. The freedom of man, I contend, is the freedom to eat.
       -- Eleanor Rooseveldt

  164. A hungry people listens not to reason, nor cares for justice, nor is bent by any prayers.
       -- Seneca

  165. No one can worship God or love his neighbor on an empty stomach.
       -- Woodrow Wilson

  166. Hunger does not breed reform; it breeds madness, and all the ugly distempers that make an ordered life impossible.
       -- Woodrow Wilson


    Husband

  167. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could.
       -- Abigail Smith Adams

  168. My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.
       -- Gracie Allen

  169. All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
       -- Anon.

  170. Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.
       -- Minna Antrim

  171. Fat generally tends to make a man a better husband. His wife is happy in the knowledge she is not married to a woman chaser. Few fat men chase girls, because they get winded too easily.
       -- Hal Boyle

  172. I was brought up among the sort of self-important women who had a husband as one has an alibi.
       -- Anita Brookner

  173. Positive reinforcement is hugging your husband when he does a load of laundry. Negative reinforcement is telling him he used too much detergent.
       -- Dr. Joyce Brothers

  174. There are few women so perfect that their husbands do not regret having married them at least once a day.
       -- Jean du la Bruyere

  175. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
       -- Agatha Christie

  176. Grandchildren do not make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.
       -- G. Norman Collie

  177. I have never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growels every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
       -- Marie Corelli

  178. The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives.
       -- Thomas Dekker

  179. Most women set out to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.
       -- Marlene Dietrich

  180. The better the workman, the worse husband.
       -- Thomas Draxe

  181. A good husband should be deaf and a good wife should be blind.
       -- French Proverb

  182. God, give me a rich husband though he be an ass.
       -- Thomas Fuller

  183. He knows little who will tell his wife all he knows.
       -- Thomas Fuller

  184. Husbands are like fires. They go out if left unattended.
       -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

  185. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do.
       -- Katharine Hepburn

  186. Husband and wife come to look alike at last.
       -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

  187. A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
       -- Edgar Watson Howe

  188. There is only one thing to do for a man who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.
       -- Edgar Watson Howe

  189. Oh! how I long to see my dear husband, that I may quarrel with him!
       -- Mrs Inchbald

  190. Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
       -- Jean Kerr

  191. A lover may be a shadowy creature, but husbands are made of flesh and blood.
       -- Amy Levy

  192. Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
       -- H. L. Mencken

  193. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
       -- Groucho Marx

  194. An easy-going husband is the one indispensable comfort of life.
       -- Ouida

  195. His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  196. Don't worry. If you keep him long enough he'll come back in style.
       -- Dorothy Parker

  197. A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
       -- Helen Rowland

  198. Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature --and another woman to help him forget them.
       -- Helen Rowland

  199. A husband without faults is a dangerous observer.
       -- Sir George Savile

  200. No one in the whole world knows all a man's bignesses and all his littlenesses as his wife does.
       -- Gene Stratton-Porter

  201. The true male never yet walked
    Who liked to listen when his mate talked.
       -- Anna Wickham

  202. One can always recognize women who trust their husbands. They look so thoroughly unhappy.
       -- Oscar Wilde


    Hypocrisy

  203. A bad man is worse when he pretends to be a saint.
       -- Francis Bacon

  204. When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.
       -- Otto von Bismark

  205. The wolf was sick, he vowed a monk to be--
    But when he got well, a wolf once more was he.
       -- Walter Bower

  206. Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat.
       -- Samuel Butler

  207. The teeth are smiling, but is the heart?
       -- Congolese Proverb

  208. Every man alone is sincere; at the entrance of a second person hypocrisy begins.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  209. Extremes meet, and there is no better example than the naughtiness of humility.
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

  210. Affectation is a greater enemy to the face than smallpox.
       -- English Proverb

  211. Clean your finger before you point at my spots.
       -- Benjamin Franklin

  212. It is a trick among the dishonest to offer sacrifices that are not needed, or not possible, to avoid making those that are required.
       -- Ivan Goncharov

  213. No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.
       -- Nathaniel Hawthorne

  214. We are not hypocrites in our sleep.
       -- William Hazlitt

  215. Many kiss the hand they wish cut off.
       -- George Herbert

  216. Remember this: If you work for a man, in Heaven's name, work for him. If he pays you wages which supply your bread and butter, work for him; speak well of him; stand by the institution which he represents. If put to a pinch, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. If you must vilify, condemn and eternally disparage -- resign your position, and when you are on the outside, damn to your heart's content, but as long as you are a part of the institution do not condemn it.
       -- Elbert Hubbard

  217. If it were not for the intellectual snobs who pay, the arts would perish with their starving practitioners--let us thank heaven for hypocrisy.
       -- Aldous Huxley

  218. No man is a hypocrite in his pleasures.
       -- Samuel Johnson

  219. Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue.
       -- François de La Rochefoucauld

  220. Hypocrite: the man who murdered both his parents ... pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
       -- Abraham Lincoln

  221. For neither man nor angel can discern hypocracy, the only evil that walks invisible.
       -- John Milton

  222. I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
       -- Michel de Montaigne

  223. It is with pious fraud as with a bad action; it begets a calamitous necessity of going on.
       -- Thomas Paine

  224. Few men speak humbly of humility, chasely of chastity, skeptically of skepticism.
       -- Blaise Pascal

  225. He knows much of what men paint themselves would blister in the light of what they are.
       -- Edwin Arlington Robinson

  226. Where there is no religion, hypocrisy becomes good taste.
       -- George Bernard Shaw

  227. A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.
       -- Adlai E. Stevenson

  228. One face to the world, another at home makes for misery.
       -- Amy Vanderbuilt

  229. The value of an idea has nothing to do with the success of the man who expresses it.
       -- Oscar Wilde

  230. I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and really being good all the time. That would be hypocracy.
       -- Oscar Wilde

  231. There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel that no one else has the right to blame us.
       -- Oscar Wilde


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