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- A - Having imagination it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that if you were unimaginative would take you only a minute.   Franklin P. Adams I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.   Woody Allen My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.   Woody Allen Experience is often what you get when you were expecting something else.   Anon. Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.   Anon. If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over.   Anon. Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.   Anon. Remember, God always leaves the porch light on.   Anon. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.   Anon. Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.   Thomas Aquinas I refuse to admit that I am more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.    Lady Astor How these curiosities would be quite forgott, did not such idle fellowes as I putt them down.   John Aubrey

- B - What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.   Pearl Bailey, singer Pandemonium did not reign; it poured.    John Kendrick Bangs If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.   Tallulah Bankhead, actress Bourbon.   Tallulah Bankhead, last word What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.   Dave Barry The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.   John Barrymore You will find my last words in the blue folder.   Max Beerbohm, last words Applaud friends, the comedy is over.   Ludwig van Beethoven, last words I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.   A Bit of Fry and Laurie I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.   Shirley Temple Black, actress, singer, and US ambassador Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happinesss is assured.   Ambrose Bierce, (1842-1914) When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.   Alexander Graham Bell, american inventor I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings.   Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in The Big Sleep Ability is nothing without opportunity.    Napoleon Bonaparte It is the cause, not the death, that makes the martyr.   Napoleon Bonaparte The rain it raineth on the just And also on the unjust fella: But chiefly on the just, because The unjust steals the just's umbrella.   Lord Bowen The ability to make love frivolously is the chief characteristic that distinguishes human beings from the beasts.   Heywood Broun One good thing about being young is that you are not experienced enough to know you cannot possibly do the things you are doing.   Gene Brown Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.   Rita Mae Brown In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then beleive them to be true.   Budda Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.   Leo Buscaglia Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.   Samuel Butler It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.   Samuel Butler Vaccination is the medical sacrament corresponding to baptism.   Samuel Butler

- C - The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.   Herb Caen My work is being destroyed almost as soon as it is printed. One day it is being read; the next day someone's wrapping fish in it.   Al Capp Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all.   Dale Carnegie It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward.   Lewis Carroll If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.   Johnny Carson How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.   George Washington Carver, american inventor and horticulturist She jerked away from me like a startled fawn might, if I had a startled fawn and it jerked away from me.   Raymond Chandler It's a long time since I drank champagne.   Anton Checkov, last words If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking "Do you want fries with that?"   John Cleese The more you study, the more you find out you don't know, but the more you study, the closer you come.   Cozy Cole By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.   Confucius The dread of lonliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.   Cyril Connolly Public behavior is merely private character writ large.   Stephen R. Covey, author, self-help speaker In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.   Winston Churchill

- D - Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.   Nick Diamos We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.   Rodney Dangerfield You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand.   Leonardo da Vinci, Italian inventor The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.   Leonardo da Vinci It is the friends that you can call at 4 a.m. that matter.   Marlene Dietrich There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.   Benjamin Disraeli, statesman Man only likes to count his troubles, but he does not count his joys.   Fyodor Dostoyevsky It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.   Arthur Conan Doyle, english author ...when you have eliminated the impossible, that which remains, however improbable, must be the truth.   Arthur Conan Doyle, english author Everything that can be invented has been invented.   Charles Duell, Dir. US Patent Office, 1899 Money doesn't talk, it swears.   Bob Dylan

- E - We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.   Thomas Alva Edison, amedican inventor and industrialist To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.   Thomas Alva Edison, amedican inventor and industrialist Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.   Thomas Alva Edison, amedican inventor and industrialist Results! Why man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.   Thomas Alva Edison, amedican inventor and industrialist Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.   Thomas Alva Edison, amedican inventor and industrialist It's very beautiful over there.   Thomas Edison, last words The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.   Albert Einstein Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time and yet remain lonely.   T.S.Eliot The secret of drunkeness is, that it insulates us in thought, whilst it unites us in feeling.   Ralph Waldo Emerson This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.   Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher Our best thoughts come from others.   Ralph Waldo Emerson So much of our time is preparation, so much is routine, and so much retrospect, that the path of each man's genius contracts itself to a very few hours.   Ralph Waldo Emerson Men are what their mothers made them.   Ralph Waldo Emerson

- F - To divide one's life by years is of course to tumble into a trap set by our own arithmetic. The calendar consents to carry on its dull wall-existence by the arbitrary timetables we have drawn up in consultation with those permanent commuters, Earth amd Sun. But we, unlike trees, need grow no annual rings.   Clifton Fadiman An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. It's knowing where to go to find out what you need to know; and it's knowing how to use the information once you get it.   William Feather It is the childlike mind that finds the kingdom.   Charles Fillmore Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more finesse!   Derwood Fincher It's more fun to arrive a conclusion than to justify it.   Malcolm S. Forbes While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time or dreaming.   Lee De Forest, 1926 Religion has done love a great servive by making it a sin.   Anatole France It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion.   Anatole France Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.   Benjamin Franklin Life's Tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.   Benjamin Franklin Creditors have better memories than debtors.   Benjamin Franklin Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity.    Sigmund Freud The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.    Sigmund Freud In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.   Robert Frost

- G - The test of good manners is to be patient with the bad ones.   Ibn Gabirol There is one rule for politicians all over the world: Don't say in Power what you say in opposition; if you do, you only have to carry out what the other fellows have found impossible.   John Galsworthy, English author I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill.   Mahatma Gandhi If you are not too large for the place you occupy, you are too small for it.   James A. Garfield, US President If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should not grow old.   James A. Garfield Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be.   Jose Ortega y Gasset When you have mastered numbers, you will in fact no longer be reading numbers, any more than you read words when reading books. You will be reading meanings.   Harold Geneen, from Managing, The meek may inherit the earth - but not its mineral rights.   J. Paul Getty (1892-1976) Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream.   Kahlil Gibran I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.   Kahlil Gibran Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.   Goethe More light!   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, last words Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is something entirely different.   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I can tell you, honest friend, what to believe: believe life; it teaches better than book or orator.   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.    Oliver Goldsmith Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies.   Adrienne Gusoff