- 1997
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- Sis, even if you were adopted, I'd still love you...
American Greetings, from a 'less-than-tasteful' greeting card, 1997
- The Lord had the wonderful advantage of being able to work alone.
Kofi Annan, UN Secretary General, answering why he had not implemented organizational reforms after five months when 'God created the universe in seven days',1997
- Bank failue has a whole new meaning.
Anonymous Observer, as riverbanks and levees gave way during flooding in North Dakota, 1997
- I'm sure he's very big back in his own country.
Anonymous New York Policeman, as Garth Brooks was giving a concert for 250,000 people in central park, 1997
- Please stop. They really smell bad.
Anonymous Postal Employee, asking postal patrons to cease sending severed pig's ears to ear-biting boxer Mike Tyson, 1997.
- God sent a truck.
Anonymous Resident, from a poor section of Miami, explaining hoiw God had answered his prayers after a Brinks truck overturned on the highway, spilling $400K of money, which was carted off by local residents, 1997.
- Once was enough.
Christophe Auguin, French teacher, sailor, after sailing around the world solo in 106 days, 1997
- The only time I had any butterflies was when I stood up and backed toward the open door and looked down.
George Bush, former US President, describing his sky diving experience, 1997
- I want to sit on the other side so I can look out the window. I've already seen everything on my side of the bus.
Kimberly Carpenter, age 8, whose school system mandates boys and girls must sit on opposite sides of a school bus, 1997
- A threat is basically a means for establishing a bargaining position by inducing fear in the subject. When a threat is used, it should always be implied that the subject himself is to blame by using words such as "You leave me no other choice but to..." He should never be told to comply "or else!"
CIA 'Human Resources' Manual, for Latin America, recently declassified, 1997.
- We're in uncharted territory here...
Dan Dierdorf, ABC sports commentator, preparing to announce the first womens' professional boxing match on network television (Won by Yvonne Trevino), 1997
- Elizabeth's back at the red cross, and I'm walking the dog.
Bob Dole, on the Today Show, describing life after the elections, 1997
- There's a fine line between boxing and chaos.
Gordon Fink, Deputy Attorney General, aftr Mike Tyson bit off part of Evander Holyfield's ear during a championship fight, 1997.
- Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Garbage Back.
Garbage Truck, Cambridge, Massachusettes, 1997
- I would like them to leave a little bit of New York for the old-timers.
Fred Hakim, lunch counter owner, on Disney's face-lift of Times Square, New York, 1997
- Operations such as processing invoices and ordering supplies will be greatly curtailed now that we have no money.
Mikki Halpin, editor of the Stim web 'zine, 1997.
- It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Sandra Harding, US Postal Service Employee, commenting on the effects of a strike by UPS workers, August, 1997
- We inherited the planet from our ancestors 3,000 years ago.
Adam Ismail, one of three Yemeni men claiming ownership of Mars, and suing NASA for trespassing, 1997.
- My only political ambition is to be re-elected.
Glenda Jackson, British actress and current M.P., on career aspirations, 1997.
- Fruit, Purina Monkey Chow, and the occaisonal oreo.
Dietary needs of Jiggs, last chimpanzee to appear as 'Cheeta' in the Tarzan movies, 1997.
- I vote for beer.
Phillip Jimeno, Maryland state senator, on his recommendation for the official state drink, 1997.
- I was always sending batteries and headless dolls in the mail. I think that's what caught their attention.
Mark Johnson-Williams, 'Tickle-Me Elmo' doll designer, on why authorities had considered him a potential Unabomber suspect, 1997.
- I thought it was too wacky for the general public.
George Lucas, movie producer, director, and creator of Star Wars, on his original opinion of his movie's chances for success, 1997.
- There'll never be another ewe? Don't count on it!
News Headline, after Scottish scientists clone a sheep, 1997
- Twenty-two years of tofu is a lot of time.
Paul Obis, creator of Vegetarian Times, on his decision to start eating meat, 1997
- ERNAL REVEN E SE VICE.
Sign, at the entrance to the IRS building in Washington D.C., 1997 (can I buy a vowel?)
- If American and Canadian fishermen sat down and cracked open a case of beer, we'd have this done in an hour.
Kit Taggart, Canadian fisherman, after a dispute over rights to salmon fishing, 1997.
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