Lay of Ancient Rome

OH, the Roman was a rogue,

He erat was, you bettum;

He ran his automobilis

And smoked his cigarettum;

He wore a diamond studibus

And elegant cravattum,

A maxima cum laude shirt,

And stylish hattum!

He loved the luscious hic-haec-hoc,

And bet on games and equi;

At times he won, at others, though,

He got it in the necqui;

He winked (quo usque tandem?)

At puellas on the Forum,

And sometimes even made

Those goo-goo oculorum!

He frequently was seen

At combats gladitorial,

And ate enough to feed

Ten boarders at Memorial;

He often went on sprees

And said, on starting homus,

"Hic labor --- opus est,

Oh, where's my hic--hic--domus?"

Although he lived in Rome--

Of all the arts the middle--

He was (excuse the phrase)

A horrid individ'l;

Ah! what a diff'rent thing

Was the homo (dative, hominy)

Of far-away B.C.

From us of Anno Domini.

Thomas Ybarra