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Lay of Ancient Rome

    OH, the Roman was a rogue,
    He erat was, you bettum;
    He ran his automobilis
    And smoked his cigarettum;
    He wore a diamond studibus
    And elegant cravattum,
    A maxima cum laude shirt,
    And stylish hattum!

    He loved the luscious hic-haec-hoc,
    And bet on games and equi;
    At times he won, at others, though,
    He got it in the necqui;
    He winked (quo usque tandem?)
    At puellas on the Forum,
    And sometimes even made
    Those goo-goo oculorum!

    He frequently was seen
    At combats gladitorial,
    And ate enough to feed
    Ten boarders at Memorial;
    He often went on sprees
    And said, on starting homus,
    "Hic labor --- opus est,
    Oh, where's my hic--hic--domus?"

    Although he lived in Rome--
    Of all the arts the middle--
    He was (excuse the phrase)
    A horrid individ'l;
    Ah! what a diff'rent thing
    Was the homo (dative, hominy)
    Of far-away B.C.
    From us of Anno Domini.

    Thomas Ybarra


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